There will be a time

[30 May 2019]

There will be a time when,
Finally, then, at the end
We will find ourselves – caught between a knowing
And a not-knowing, the hour
Of twilight, if you like, where I will ask you to suspend
The notion of sleepless nights and cardboard cut-outs
(Signalling something greater but losing half the power)
And seaside shanties: mountains of rubbish
Tied together haphazardly as a last stand against the sewing
Needles of the Haverton Hills Bridge Club. Their whereabouts
Are still unknown to this day, but I will ask you to withhold judgement.

There will be a time when I ask you to forget,
Not because forgetting is any better than remembering,
But simply because I can and you cannot. So much is lost
In translation, in the assumption of memory
Into something bigger and grander than it ever could have been in vita reali.
The egg’s been over-boiled but still runs when you crack the shell.
In my more honest moments, I know I will make a thorough reflection on
My culpability in the matter somewhere between breakfast and lunch
On every second Tuesday afternoon, and occasionally on a Friday,
For precisely 32 minutes before washing it all down with a quick-steeped brew
Of nostalgia, feigned innocence, self-flagellation, and maybe a mimosa.

There will be a time when, by process of elimination,
We find ourselves standing on the corner of Seaforth and Kingsgate,
Umbrella in hand,
Pondering the road that brought us to this point,
Wondering what happened to our wristwatches and wellies and our sense of self-worth.
You’ll lean over to me and say something about the weather and how
You’d much prefer it if we could catch a breather back at the station,
And I’ll have nothing further to add to that,
So, instead, we’ll head home and split a generous serving
Of liver sausage and gravy on our pyrite plates.

There will be a time when the last thing,
The only thing,
We can do is what we should have done in the first –
Namely, to forget: To forget to believe, to forget to say
To ourselves that these, too, are just fragments of something
That never really could amount to anything, even when we wanted them to
(Even though we can’t say we didn’t try).

19 responses to “There will be a time”

  1. orkidedatter avatar

    I do not understand what is in you with words… imagery… the flow… is like music in my ears.. You make me smile and what a rush to visit your blog.
    Thank you….

    1. Nathan AM Smith avatar

      You are so kind! Thank you for your words! Your comments always make my day and keep giving me motivation to keep writing!!

      1. orkidedatter avatar

        Awwwe, thank you, I love your words🦋 I always looking forward to your post.
        Make you a great day.

  2. N.Z. Robotewske avatar

(Signalling something greater but losing half the power)

    The break in the flow…works well here). I like it. 👍. This is a fun piece—I’m not ever entirely sure what you mean to say—but it flows along these images which when as you say—are brought to life—are beautiful and peaceful too. Rainy English country side…😊

    1. Nathan AM Smith avatar

      Thank you! I enjoy writing tonally so that impressions can be gathered – sometimes I think the tonal impression is more important than the individual words themselves! I’m glad you enjoy it and I like that you see that vibe in it! 😀

      1. N.Z. Robotewske avatar

        Agreed. Keep writing. 😊

        1. Nathan AM Smith avatar

          Thank you! You as well!!!! 😀

  3. Sylvester Van-Johnson avatar

    Beautiful for an analytical mind.

    1. Nathan AM Smith avatar

      Thank you very much 🙂 That was what I was hoping to achieve 🙂

  4. kristianw84 avatar

    This is so beautiful, & touching, & moving!! 😍😍

    1. Nathan AM Smith avatar
  5. arlenecorwin avatar

    I think what you are trying to say Nathan is that life is illusory. And, of course, everything being transient, it is. but you’ve got to treat it s if it is real and do it with peace in your heart and mind, happiness and wisdom. Be happy Nathan.

    1. Nathan AM Smith avatar

      Thank you for your insight and thoughts! I think that is a good perspective to have 🙂
      Thanks again and cheers!

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