13 August

[13 August 2019]

あなたさえ私のことをおぼえていてくれれば、ほかのすべての人に忘れられたってかまわない。
Mantra,
clenched between molar and molar,
ground to pulp to ash to dust,
worn threadbare between pursed lips,
held aloft between two sweaty hands,
perpetually offering the sublime to the not yet
sacrificed, bloody on a bed of horseshoes and cobblestones.

And so,
in the waiting and the wanting we lie,
strung up, strung out, stretched taut, a cadenza
pushing ourselves to the margins of our desires,
filling ourselves to the brim with sandstone and sawdust,
considerate la vostra semenza:
fatti non foste a viver come bruti,
ma per seguir virtute e canoscenza.

My eyes are dim,
spent,
wasted from peering too long in the deepnesses between the stars,
seeking a sign on the face of the inscrutable
sacred
scared
and holy
waiting patiently for the answer that may never come
som venter
på å bli
noe annet

squandering hair follicles and collagen and muscle,
looking for a time when all things made old made new make sense.

There is something solemn about surrender,
something timeless,
something that fillets solitude and earmarks yearning for a time just down the road
(I caught a glimpse of him once,
standing between the pew and the wall,
asking me to relinquish only that which was never mine
in exchange for a freedom I can never have),
yet still we pacify longing,
placate it,
carve out a sense of self worth selfing between uncommissioned bouts of nostalgia for by-gones long missed,
penitent patterings on pyrite and asphalt and bed sheets for mysteries hid fast behind a darkened veil.

I found him there, and
yo me puse a llorar y tú reías.
Tu desdén era un dios, las quejas mías
momentos y palomas en cadena.

11 responses to “13 August”

  1. tara caribou avatar

    ohmygoodness…. gorgeous gorgeous piece

    1. Nathan AM Smith avatar

      Thank you!!!! I had fun writing it!

  2. orkidedatter avatar

    Oh my oh my… I fall in love right now… BOOM…with these words…. it is so wonderful when you write in severeal languages, and in Norwegian too, that is awesome.
    Wow, wow…
    Du er herlig🎶👏🏻❤️
    A masterpiece Nathan…🙏🏻❤️Tusen takk.

    1. Nathan AM Smith avatar

      Takk takk! I put the Norwegian in there for you! 🙂 I hope you liked it!!

      1. orkidedatter avatar

        Wow, you did… for me… wow, that’s one of the nicest things anyone has done for me, that you thought of me…. thank you.
        I love it my friend❤️
        I feel honored.
        Make you a great day.

        1. Nathan AM Smith avatar

          😀 😀 😀 <3 <3

  3. NZain avatar

    “asking me to relinquish only that which was never mine 
in exchange for a freedom I can never have),”
    Piercing. So glad you are back.

    1. Nathan AM Smith avatar

      Thank you! I am glad to be back and to be sharing words and dreams with you again!

      1. NZain avatar

        Yes! Good to take a break too. Thank you for sharing….

        1. Nathan AM Smith avatar

          Exactly! And thank you for reading!

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